In the ever-dynamic world of attraction and relationships, there’s an old cliché which claims that, “Behind every successful man stands a woman.”
Many women enjoy making this statement. Partly their goal is to deflect attention from the fact that he goes out and achieves great things while she may spend a big chunk of her day at the salon or at the Racket Club being tutored by “Guido” on her backhand.
But interestingly enough, we’ve never heard a man make that statement except when running for public office and pandering to get elected. Most successful men know better. We sometimes achieve great things and thus we create wealth, but our wives subsequently spend much of it.
Notwithstanding the fact that men work more and therefore earn more, women still account for roughly 80% of all discretionary spending. In other words, men earn most of the money and women spend most of it.
Of course not. But on a deeper level, there actually is an element of truth to a woman standing behind every successful man. It relates to what’s called “the killer instinct” in nature: the willingness to set aside your state of mind and inner feelings to achieve a specific and very challenging goal.
Men who can’t do this will often end up moderately successful. They may reach lower, or (if technically sharp) even middle management. And to the average woman who can’t do better, they make fairly good catches. But the odds of men like this getting all the way to the top are slim, whether it’s in politics, business, or romance. They’re unwilling to do whatever it takes to meet that organization’s goals.
Instead they want to be liked. And because they’re compassionate, they balk at making the cold decisions that could benefit the organization at the expense of many loyal long-time employees and the community. And for that reason, the organization will give the most senior slots to men who don’t have those same qualms.
But it’s not enough to be cunning and ruthless. The real trick is to seem likable at the same time. Many politicians and business leaders are able to blend both talents. They’re wolves in sheep’s clothing. But very few guys are that ruthless by nature. Most of us are nice guys.
And that’s where women come in. We may not be cold, calculating or ruthless. But, women can summon up those qualities more easily than you might realize. Many women are extremely competitive, but most have also mastered the skill of seeming likable and so most men don’t realize (unless they’ve been to Divorce Court) just how cold, calculating, and ruthless women can be.
Guys who actually have the killer instinct tend to attract lots of women. But there are not enough of those guys to meet the female demand. So women do the next best thing: they develop their own “killer” man in-house. They find and marry a very smart, talented guy with a solid education and then proceed to hone his killer instinct.